


Love to get done

by wingsofbadass



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Oral Sex, Porn with Feelings, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:55:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22284454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingsofbadass/pseuds/wingsofbadass
Summary: Caleb hadn't understood how much he'd looked forward to Essek's crooked, cocky grin until he returned to Rosohna and found it missing. There was something tender to the smile, like a fading bruise, when the Shadowhand opened his door in the later hours of the evening.Or: Essek needs to relax, damn.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 35
Kudos: 417
Collections: excellent trans vibes





	Love to get done

**Author's Note:**

> Generic Hozier title because I'm a basic bitch? Maybe so.
> 
> Thank you, Herald, for your help with this.

Caleb hadn't understood how much he'd looked forward to Essek's crooked, cocky grin until he returned to Rosohna and found it missing. There was something tender to the smile, like a fading bruise, when the Shadowhand opened his door in the later hours of the evening. 

"Well, this is a surprise," Essek said in that same tone lacking his usual air of amused condescension. Caleb fought the urge to look away. "Has something happened?"

"Not at all. I just - wanted to see if you are all right." 

Essek tilted his head to the side, like a curious dog, until his temple rested against the edge of the door. His hair was slightly damp. For some reason he was still holding onto the doorhandle.

"Of course I'm all right," he said with a strange little laugh that made Caleb's stomach twist. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Caleb shrugged helplessly and began rubbing over his clothed forearms. All the way here he'd thought about what to say, but words were nowhere to be found now. "May I come in?"

Essek blinked, as though breaking out of a daydream. In an abrupt movement, he swept back and opened the door wide in delayed invitation. "How rude of me, please forgive my lack of manners." 

Stuttering about how it was not a problem while Essek kept apologizing with increasingly elaborate expressions, Caleb entered the little house and took off his shoes and let Essek take his coat. As Caleb unwound his scarf, it suddenly occurred to him that Essek might be nervous.

In the low light of the hallway, Essek looked devastatingly handsome and exhausted. The shadows under his eyes were those of long working hours as well as as a restless mind at night. The unfamiliar turn of his lips tugged at Caleb's heart with the urge to - 

Oh. They hadn't kissed. The last times when Caleb had come into this house, they had kissed. Now, Essek hovered a friendly, but polite distance away, his mask up as he waited for Caleb to hand over his scarf. Was that … over? Fuck, he didn't want it to be over. With his panicked heart in his throat, Caleb stepped closer. To his relief Essek didn't back away but met his gaze, looking a little uncertain now. 

"You look so tired," Caleb stated stupidly. He wanted, so badly, to reach out and touch Essek's check but he couldn't tell if that would be welcomed. 

Again, Essek's lips twitched into that brittle smile that didn't seem to suit him. He looked down, pale lashes fluttering down to shield the softening in his gaze. But Caleb had caught it. "As I said, I've been working a lot. It comes with the position." 

Caleb's voice was low now, sharing a secret. "You don't have to be like that with me, you know?" A crease formed between Essek's eyebrows at that, but he didn't look up. Caleb thought he might try to keep up his sharade, but when Essek remained silent, he stepped a little closer still. He had to look up into Essek's face now, just slightly. "It's okay. I won't tell and I won't judge." 

Essek took in a deep breath through his nose, before lifting his gaze back up to meet Caleb's. He still looked incredibly tired, but his eyes were soft, helpless now; he looked as young and lost as Caleb felt.

"I just wish things would stop _happening_ , only for a little while." The confession was rushed, as though the words might be less embarrassing if they took up less time. Essek lowered his head until his forehead came to rest against Caleb's. "I just want to catch my breath."

The relief at this sign of intimacy was enough to make Caleb close his eyes for a moment. It wasn't over. They hadn't seen each other for weeks, but there was still closeness to be had. He nudged his nose against Essek's, begging for more of it. Somehow, his fingers were digging into the endless expanse of Essek's dark robes, his scarf probably on the ground.

"It's okay," he whispered again. "You can stop. For a little while."

Essek's breath was warm against Caleb's lips as he echoed, "For a little while." 

When they kissed, Essek sighed through his nose and it was like all the tension drained from his body. Caleb felt slender arms wind around his shoulders, fingers dipping into his hair. Oh, he'd missed this. The soft press of lips, the way Essek melted against his chest, the slowing of his mind from a rapid rhythm to a slow beat. 

"I didn't-" Essek started after a few moments, but they got lost in more kisses, before he could continue, breathless. "I didn't know if you still wanted - this."

Caleb's chest ached from the word Essek had clearly meant to say there. He dragged his knuckles up Essek's cheek, watched those careful eyes close at the touch. "I do. And I missed you." 

Once more, Essek leaned his forehead against Caleb's, and maybe he did need the support, not just the contact. To be safe, Caleb wound his arms around Essek's waist, pulling him close against him. Thanks to the hover spell, he was easy to move. The image of Essek, weightless, wrapping his legs around Caleb's hips came to mind suddenly, sending a jolt of heat through his veins. It would be so easy to - oh, fuck. 

Essek made a bit of a surprised noise when Caleb kissed him again. There was probably a new neediness to his mouth now as he rolled his tongue against Essek's. The kiss was deep and slow, like the drip of sweet honey, and Caleb's breath grew ragged so quickly it was almost humiliating. But damn, he'd _missed this_. Essek gave another content sigh, holding Caleb's face in his delicate hands like a treasure.

There was something about Essek's proximity that Caleb couldn't resist. It was true that he'd missed him while being away but he hadn't really noticed until their return to Rosohna. With his thoughts drowning in past trauma and the shadow of Astrid, there'd been no awareness of his heart. The very heart that was so full just then, so far away from home in a foreign land, in the arms of what should've been an enemy. 

A raw noise escaped from his throat and Essek's fingers soothed along his jaw. He felt Essek smile a little against his lips. "And I missed you." 

Oh, how he longed to devour those words, keep them inside him forever. With every kiss, Caleb could feel Essek slipping, losing the fight with his exhaustion. Sluggish were those lips; loose was the grip of those hands. Were it not for the gravitational magic, Caleb was sure he’d be holding his lover up with his embrace. And yet Essek kept chasing after more of Caleb’s kisses, pleading without a single word. 

Breathless with want and being wanted, Caleb began trailing away from Essek's mouth, kissing along his cheek, his jaw. At this hour, a light shadow of a beard pricked against Caleb's lips, which made him gather Essek closer against him, wanting to feel more. With yet another soft sigh, Essek tipped his head back to allow Caleb's wet kisses to wander down to the side of his neck. Stubble and soft skin, the scent of old parchment and candle smoke. Careful, he gave a bit of a sucking kiss, and Essek made a throaty sound that should've been illegal.

The world tipped. 

Essek’s body was jerked downward, warm skin losing touch with Caleb’s lips. 

Startled, Caleb pulled back. "Are you okay? What -"

Essek was burying his face against Caleb’s shoulder with a small groan. Holding him felt different somehow. It took Caleb a moment to realize that Essek was standing solidly on the ground, no longer hovering. Caleb bit his lip around a smile.

“Essek?”

Sharp eyes flashed up at him as Essek looked up, now adorably short. He jabbed a stern finger towards Caleb's face.

“Not a single word.”

While Caleb struggled to swallow every single enamored remark that shot into his mind, Essek recast his spell with much pointed dignity, then floated towards his bedroom without another glance at Caleb. Too proud to walk. Once alone in the hallway, Caleb lowered his face into his palms and attempted to get his expression back under control. He felt giddy. 

“Are you following?” Essek called.

Caleb bent down to pick up his scarf and hang it over his coat, before walking towards the now familiar door Essek had left ajar, soft candle light streaming out like a waywiser. Essek was hovering in front of his vanity, fumbling with one of his earrings, when Caleb stepped in. In the mirror, they shared a soft smile that made him stride up to stand behind Essek. Like this, at almost equal height, he had to raise his head a little to rest his chin on Essek’s shoulder, the robe’s fancy embellishments poking into the side of his face. He could’ve pulled Essek down a little, he supposed, but he wasn’t stupid enough to try that. 

Wrapping his arms around Essek’s waist, cinching the wide cloak until it lay close against the contours of the body he was so privileged to touch, Caleb pressed close. 

“You should relax,” he murmured, watching Essek carefully set aside the earring that had been dangling from one pinty ear. He raised his hands to the fastenings of the cloak, but stopped short of touching them. “Allow me.”

The corner of Essek’s mouth quirked. “I think I just relaxed a little too much back there.” 

After a heartbeat of their gazes meeting in the mirror - heated, amused - Essek leaned his head back to rest it on Caleb’s shoulder, his eyes fluttering closed. The gesture made Caleb swallow thickly. He pressed a kiss to the side of Essek’s exposed throat, lingering with his lips and nose buried against a dancing pulse, and began unfastening the robe that functioned as the Shadowhand’s shield. 

Essek held still, floating easily and letting himself be undressed. The iconic mantle with all its fancy ornaments and flourishes fell away, pooling heavily at Caleb's feet. For some reason, he'd expected Essek to make a fuss about that, but there was no reaction to the careless treatment of the garment. It felt monumental, removing layer after layer with trembling hands until Essek was bare in his arms. His skin was so soft. How unbearably beautiful he was; lovely and dark in the candlelight, figure lean and elegant even now. 

Barely breathing, Caleb dragged reverent palms up Essek's sides, around his middle - the faint noise of skin stroking over skin the only sound between them. Essek shivered. Down his arms Caleb’s touch wandered. One by one, he removed the rings from Essek's fingers and set them in their designated little bowl on the vanity. 

When it was all gone and Essek turned to face Caleb, the bareness had spread to his eyes. Yearning and affection lay warm in that gaze as it met Caleb’s, took his breath away. And they collided with ardor, lips hungry and hands matching. Caleb could taste the turbulent emotions on Essek’s tongue and he kissed back with whatever softness he could afford. 

This time, Essek sank to the ground slowly, in a controlled motion that went uncommented by either of them. Caleb just kept kissing and kissing that wonderful mouth as it was lowered and still kept kissing once its height became solid once more. All he wanted was to be close, so close. Dragging Essek against him became difficult, however, when Essek began pushing him backwards. With short, bold steps he was being steered towards the bed and oh, he loved it when Essek was like this. With eager fingers, they began stripping Caleb of his clothes and discarding them along the floor - a rushed ritual dedicated the need brimming in their veins. 

All it took was a sexy little shove against his chest and Caleb let himself fall. He bounced a little on the mattress and watched as Essek clambered up after him, gracefulness a little compromised without his magic but a more endearing sight by far. Thighs on both sides of his hips, Essek draped himself over him and pressed close, right against Caleb’s growing arousal. 

But this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. 

“Wait,” he whispered and when Essek blinked down at him, lids low with tiredness, Caleb pushed him onto his back. 

Essek raised an eyebrow. “Want to feel in control?”

With a smile that was maybe tinged with some sadness, Caleb shook his head. With faint marks on his forearms and a magical amulet laying against his bare chest, there were many things he could’ve replied to such a loaded question. But this was not the time. Reaching up to cradle Essek’s cheek in his palm, he said, “I want to appreciate you.”

Maybe Essek could tell he had hit _something_ with his remark, but thankfully he let it go. Instead, he pulled Caleb into another deep kiss and they settled into each other, with Essek’s thighs pressed warm against Caleb’s sides. And no matter how assertive Essek might’ve acted, there was no mistaking how much he needed to lie down and let himself be spoiled. His hands were resting on Caleb’s lower back, his mouth moved with lazy want, his body not quite able to catch up with the passion.

Essek made pleased sound when Caleb dragged his lips away to get them back on that divine skin. The tastes and scents had become familiar to him for a while, but now he got to experience them almost anew, so he lingered on his favorite spots. There was the dip between his neck and shoulder that he lovingly traced with his tongue. The left nipple, pierced with a silver barbell, Caleb only played with for a moment, before moving on. Knowing how Essek felt about his chest sometimes, he kept his touch light, his lips cherishing. There was the trail of pale hair starting around Essek's bellybutton and trailing down that Caleb dragged gentle fingers through, up and down, slowly, just to watch the way it made him twitch and gasp. 

So beautiful. Caleb just couldn't get enough of having Essek in his mouth. It made him moan helplessly as he licked and sucked his way to the inside of Essek's thigh. He could smell Essek's arousal but ignored the enticing scent for now. Fingers sank into his hair, pads stroking slowly across his scalp. Looking up, Caleb could see that Essek had let himself sink into the pillows, one arm slung over his eyes and lips parted. It filled Caleb's chest with warmth to know Essek felt this comfortable with him now, unlike before when he'd shared his body's history, magical changes and all. 

Caleb leaned his cheek against the thigh on which the spot where his mouth had been was darkening into a bruise. Licking his dry lips, he parted Essek with careful fingers to expose his cock, swollen with need. His gaze trailed down to the wetness awaiting him below and - he couldn't help himself. Caleb pressed his mouth against it, licking up the slickness with a heavy sigh through his nose. Essek's thighs fell open and he gasped beautifully, caught off guard by the sudden change of pace. 

He was so incredibly sexy. Caleb rubbed his tongue against the silken skin until he reached Essek's cock, then sucked it into his mouth. A broken moan, a needy thrust against his tongue told him how much Essek loved that. But _fuck_ , Caleb loved it too. He was so hard he could barely think straight, but all that mattered was his mouth on Essek. There was no art to it, just the sloppy desire to feel and make feel. He stiffened his tongue to press it against Essek's cock and tease it over and over, coaxing the most beautiful moans from his lover. 

And nothing but moans he received. Other times, Essek had been pretty talkative in bed, generous with praise as well as commands, but he seemed beyond words tonight. Exhausted as he must've been, his busy mind had finally shut down, leaving behind an unfiltered Essek that Caleb found mesmerizing. His moans were deep, desperate.

Hungry for more, Caleb feasted on Essek. He wanted to wring the last bit of tension from this body, wanted to be the one who unraveled Essek as completely as no one had before. As his moans began sounding like overwhelmed sobs and his thighs began quaking in Caleb's grasp, there was nothing but the need for release. Breathing heavily through his nose, Caleb wedged a hand under his body to grasp his own cock and fuck into his fist. 

He buried his mouth against Essek, nearly losing his mind from how badly he wanted to come. The rush of blood was so loud in his ears that he could barely hear Essek moan for him. And then the stream of pleasured noises stopped along with Essek's breath. His entire body tensed like in shock, his hand grabbed for purchase on the sheets, and he came hard against Caleb's mouth. 

The rawness of Essek's orgasm was almost enough to push Caleb over the edge too, but he stilled his hips for a moment to work Essek through his high. For endless heartbeats, Essek quaked from the intensity of it, crying out in bliss with every gasping breath, until the tension bled from his muscles and he melted back into the mattress.

Breathless, Caleb began fucking his hand again, face only inches from Essek's wet cock, unable to focus on anything else while he felt his climax rushing close. When the coiled pleasure finally snapped, his eyes rolled closed with how good it felt. White heat washed his mind clean of anything but exquisite feeling. 

When he opened his eyes, his cheek was smushed against Essek's thigh. Lazily, he brushed kisses back up to Essek's lips, tasting sweat and serenity on the way there. 

Essek was absolutely boneless.

Kissing Caleb back alone seemed like a challenge in his sated state. Smiling, Caleb pulled back the covers from underneath a sleepy, complaining Essek to tuck them both in. 

"Feeling better?" he couldn't help but ask as they settled against each other. 

Essek took a breath before he was able to reply. "Don't be smug," he then slurred without opening his eyes. 

They were sticky and sweaty, but that didn't matter just then. Essek looked so relaxed and peaceful, his face soft now, there was no way Caleb was moving either of them. As Essek sank into trance, Caleb fought his own need to sleep for a while longer, just watching. Just for a little while. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading. Please feed me comments, I'm starving!


End file.
